Cyclothymia

Validation

we are looking out
when we should be looking in
time to turn around

Since I'm Muggleborn, do I count as a URM (under-represented magician)?

My favorite studentdoctor.net (SDN) thread: Hogwarts School of Medicine.

Debate Team

Whenever I tell people who can sing that I cannot sing, they invariably immediately tell me I'm wrong. Usually with some nonsensical logic like, "if you can recognize a human voice, you can sing." I love it when they do this because there are few arguments I can so decisively win within the space of one breath. If only there were some way to apply this principle to a woman's right to choose, gay marriage, or how stupid (and fairly creepy) french manicures look on toes.

Also - are you a Mary Shelley, Hemingway or Dan Brown? Check out the site I Write Like...you plug in a sample of your writing and it spits out your literary family. I put in ten samples from this blog and they all returned David Foster Wallace. It's flattering, but I'd like to live past 48. An omnivorous brain sounds kind of cool though. CHOMP CHOMP.

I write like
David Foster Wallace

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

In an attempt to post more frequently...

AKA Operation Get Back On The Horse

If you have an overwhelming urge to buy me gifts (because I know that's something that consumes your day), these are what you should look for: Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes by Harry Graham or The Recently Deflowered Girl by Edward Gorey.

Stuff that annoys me:

• Car commercials that pronounce "Jaguar" as Jagyouar. Ew. You are not fancy, you are just a douche.
• People over the age of 30 who use txt spk. I'm sorry, you have no excuse, and reading that crap makes me think of 45 year old men wearing backward baseball caps and inviting high school girls over for beer. Srsly.
• My roommate's food weirdness and fat phobia. He's actually a great guy, but it's due to him that I sneak junk food into my room like I'm 12 years old and afraid of my thighs. I realize I'm reacting at least partially due to my own insecurities here, but seriously? There is really only room for one girl in the house. He won't go to a BBQ because he believes grilled food is carcinogenic and he knows the calories in yogurt. Guys like him are why I will never date a male vegetarian. Why don't you just pee on my damn birthday cake already?

Stuff that amuses me:

• Commercials that show chess judges acting like soccer commentators. I can't find the video, you'll just have to trust me.
• The current hipster fascination with the phrase "first world problem". I've heard it applied to everything from a grocery store running out of organic artichokes, to a prius touch screen going on the fritz, to bitching about the fact that your weight gain means you have to buy a new eternity wedding ring. I'm as guilty as the next zipcar-using-coop-shopping-mountain-hardware-wearing urbanite when it comes to this phrase, and therefore I'm qualified to say that it's always said with a tone of self-deprecating humor, but, no, seriously now, I want the fucking artichokes. My own contribution to this trend is the fact that I can't find a way to justify an artisanal cheese club membership. I think it is a grave oversight that this is not included in the med school's COA calculation.

Speaking of school, I have a new nickname. So much better than last year's MILFY. Enter the era of Porkslap. Chowhound loves it! I picture porcine football players chestbumping after a touchdown every time I hear it...I hope that's just me. The even sadder thing is that my other choice was "Moo Thunder". Had it been Ankole Thunder or Kobe Thunder I might have gone with it, but Moo Thunder was just a bit too...pedestrian? Is that the word you'd use for a flat milk stout in a can named after a farm animal? I'm so much more than a generic ungulate, thank you VERY MUCH. Anyway, big ups, yo! to Michelle for taking the hit on that one and leaving the much more desirable porkslap for me.

Google Restores My Faith In Humanity

I am working in an anatomical dissection lab this summer, and today I have to disarticulate a cadaver's arms so that flipping my fellow from supine to prone isn't such a lengthy and splashy affair. Every so often, I have a masochistic urge to google the strange things I'm researching, to see what the intarwebs has to contribute. "Tiny baby penises" when researching microphalluses, for example...after that one I was waiting for the FBI to show up. With safe search off it's like playing chicken with a huge and offensively decorated semi. And today, with great trepidation, I typed in "how to disarticulate an arm." There were no results. I can rest assured that there isn't a serial killer wiki out there, at least not one with proper medical terminology. Phew.